Written by Bahram Hossein 
Illustrated by Siamak Pourjabbar 

Published 4/23/2012

Standing tall on a stage I see people under my feet. The area is packed with people all looking up at me. Is this a flash back or a déjà vu? How could I know? I need to first find out whether I’m alive or dead.

Most people are silent. Some are shouting. I recognize some faces in the crowd. Some eyes are familiar, welled with tears. Is this a flash back or a déjà vu? How could I know? I need to first find out whether I’m alive or dead.

I’m standing here, tall on the stage; those I love cry. I myself can’t hold back my tears, but I have to anyway. After all, I’m the reason for this show. I’m the reason they have gathered. They are all here for me. Is this a flash back or a déjà vu? How could I know? I need to first find out whether I’m alive or dead.

 There are these others on the stage, people who are helping me with my performance. I know none of them but it seems like we have practiced a lot. They know exactly what they should do. I know exactly what I should do. Is this a flash back or a déjà vu? How could I know? I need to first find out whether I’m alive or dead.

 I go up the stool. I wait for one of them to pull the sack over my head. People are still under my feet, all looking up at me. This is the last thing I’ll be seeing in this life. Then he pulls the sack over my head. So will this be the last thing I saw in life?  How could I know? I need to know whether I’m alive or dead.

 I feel a rope coming around my neck. It’s not bothering me, not at all. It’s loose. I feel no pressure on my neck. Is this a flash back or a déjà vu? How could I know? I need to first find out whether I’m alive or dead.

 The stool goes out from under my feet. For a moment I feel I’m going to fall, but I don’t. The rope holds me up. I swing up here, in the dark, where people will always remain under my feet, looking up at me. Is this a flash back or a déjà vu? How could I know? I need to first find out whether I’m alive or dead.